Something Personal

Still doubt the reality of what I talk about on here?

There's something about me that I've only ever told a couple family members. I just feel like sharing it here because I was reminded of it today.

Now, ever since I was young, probably like 12 years old or so, there's been an inverted pentagram embedded into my right hand. Now, I did not put it there. It just appeared there. 12 years old is around the time I had just barely started getting into dark stuff.

Throughout all my years of practicing occultism, this pentagram was there, as a natural part of my hand print. But see, it was never a full pentagram - those have five lines, but this one only had four. The horizontal line in the middle was missing.

It was very indicative of what was going on in my life at that point. I was listening to satanic music, practicing all kinds of stuff that the Bible outright forbid... Of course, I never thought any of that was wrong, so I never made the connection. I knew it was an evil symbol, but I never realized the significance of it appearing on my hand. I thought it was just an odd coincidence.

Then around late 2013 (when I was 19) is when I started getting away from that stuff. Not a lot, just a little bit. Over the course of the next year, as I've explained before, I completely dropped all occult stuff in my life. I had some tough decisions to make, but I decided to stick with God. He'd gotten me through so much by that point, and everything else in my life was just failing me more and more; the only logical decision was to follow Him, or at least lean on Him to guide me. So I had to face the reality that the Bible spoke against a lot of what I had come to believe up until that point. And those were points where God was telling me what the truth was, but I didn't want to accept it. But I trusted in God, and over time, in my reflections on life, in my research, etc etc God guided me to the truth, and helped me to accept it, and realize how my old beliefs were, indeed, lies. I left behind all of the evil I once embraced in my life, and finally replaced it entirely with God.

So at some point in early-mid 2015, I remembered the pentagram on my hand. I decided to look at it again, and something new was there.

There was a line cutting clean through the pentagram.

It wasn't the line that was missing from the pentagram. Rather, there's a thick, obvious line cutting across and through the very middle of it, like the lines in those red "no" signs.

Just thinking about that makes me stop for a second. It's not like it was a random symbol; it was a very accurate one given what was going on at that point. And when I asked God for help, when I decided to trust Him, when I finally understood what Jesus' sacrifice really meant and accepted that, He blotted it out. I have such a hard time forgiving myself for things. And I still struggle with my imperfections. (Which reminds me of [[this]]. I like this comic a lot.) But this line, actually crossing out the symbol on my hand, is just so powerful to me. Whenever I struggle with my past or mess up somehow, I think of this. It reminds me of where I used to be, and how bad things were then, and where God's gotten me now - to such a better place. A couple times, I've talked about my past with people, and it's just surreal. It feels like I'm talking about a different person completely. My life's not just suddenly "great" now, but the lack of evil forces intruding into my life and the addition of God's love is certainly a plus, to say the least!

This symbol is such a great visual reminder to me of God's greatness. Of all the wonderful things God's done in my life the past two years. It's so humbling. It's His way of saying to me, "It's okay now. That's gone from your life. It's not a part of you anymore."

Amen.

PS, funny how God can even take an inverted pentagram and make it work for His glory. And hey, since it's common knowledge now that the inverted cross is actually a Christian symbol, the devil's running a little short on symbols here!

PPS, did you know you probably have a cross on your hand print? Extend your hand so your middle finger is facing directly away from your face. On your palm, there is a straight line going up, toward your middle finger. Around the middle of your palm, there is a line going perpendicular to that one. Both lines form a cross.

Update 2020: Here are pictures.