I have a few thoughts / rants / etc that I wrote, but don't really have anything to do with them, so I figured I'll post them here.
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10 Nov 2016
I suppose one of my main aspirations in all this is to at least reach a point where I am not overwhelmed by the concept of perfection. For Moses said to the Israelites, "This is not too much for you to handle", and it may not have been for them, though they sinned willingly anyway, yet every time my mind even begins to understand a perfect following of our calling, my mind is disoriented by the magnitude of what I realize. A perfect willingness to stand in complete and unwavering defiance of the world while simultaneously showing it due love. To reject all heresy and not permit it to influence our thoughts. To put away fear that any earthly force causes us. To analyze every slight thing we do to ensure it is in line with a divine calling. But from the beginning, God's will has been mercy. From the beginning, repentance took precedence over perfection. From the beginning, God wanted to guide us back to truth, and knew our shortcomings, and spoke to us on our level. Perfect is our calling, not our requirement. Truly we have a merciful God.
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15 Nov 2016
I think a difference between Christians and demons, is that demons may lose, but they don't give up. We Christians don't lose (see Revelation), but we often give up. Are we stronger than demons?
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26 Dec 2016
(Written during a rough/confusing point in my life, thought it might help those who are depressed)
And so I'm here again. Walking through solitude, seeking solutions. It's rare that I feel my life has any worth. Disease cuts through my heart and breaks me physically and mentally and spiritually. Let me stand here. In this isolation. I want to go back. But I also want to just stay here. And ride out the storm. Yet I wonder, even here, if it will pass. I'm listening, God, and for once I almost feel alright. But how long? How long will it last this time? I can't do this again. I don't have it in me. I'm nearly broken already. Don't let me. Don't make me. Please heal me. And guide me. Just don't let me give into myself. You didn't die for this. Surely You bothered with me and rescued me for some kind of purpose?
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27 Dec 2016
It's been nearly three years since I walked here, and I still remember the sentiment that led me to it. Of all the influences that negatively impacted me, I think the one that did the most damage was paganism. Some borderline nihilistic view of the natural cycle mixed with a skewed idealization of it. An exaggeration of the mundane and a refusal to connect it to the power of the HIGHEST DIVINITY, mixed with an imagined element of fantasy, some form of "magick" that becomes self-destructive to those attempting to wield it. And how can it not, in the context of praising a perception of ferocity that is seen as utterly indifferent to the human condition? What other way could this so-called "magick" interact with its user? In reality, what they call magick is nothing more than demonic influence cloaked by a disguise of brightly-colored wonder and escapism. Twisting the concept of seeking the primordial, by not only moving the goalposts, but painting them entirely different colors. Thus, a skewed and damaging view of the world. We often assume that the beginning was the origin of truth and uprightness - a bold assumption for those who don't know the very truths they seek, but a correct assumption nonetheless. However, with an already fatally flawed interpretation of nature, the damage becomes two-fold: first, making nature the measuring stick for truth instead of true divinity, and second, misrepresenting the already incorrect measuring stick that it does provide. Frustration. Confusion. Spiritual illiteracy falsely justified by the fatal "logic" of the sin nature inside of us.
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