Ugh / A Post That's a Long Time Coming

Here's a post I really didn't want to write. It would sometimes occur to me, but I would forget. Whenever a subject was important to write about on this blog, God would give me reminders along the way. I struggle to think of examples at the moment, but eventually, it'd make its way here, but it's not until tonight I finally decided it was time to write about this on here.

From 2010-2014 I adhered to a belief system called "otherkin". I no longer do, but I did during that time period. With all of the controversy in society about "equality" or "tolerance" or what have you, the anti-SJW crowd has begun taking particular note of otherkin. The basic idea of the otherkin belief system is that someone "is" an animal. On the surface, this might seem like a joke, or a result of someone being seriously mentally deluded.

My concern here, however, is that people, not understanding what this belief system actually is, will get the wrong idea about it. And having the wrong idea about something dangerous like this is poisonous. I'd hoped it would sort of just disappear, but it's clear that that's not happening. You must understand what's going on here.

"Otherkin" is a spiritual belief system. An incorrect one, but we'll get to that. The exact definition is a little hard to pinpoint, but basically it's the idea that someone's soul or spirit is somehow intrinsically different in nature from that of a "normal" person's - that there are inherently animal-like traits to them. This is explained in various different ways, including reincarnation (having a past life as an animal), simply being born with a "soul" of a different species for whatever reason, being part of a multiple system (several spirits in one body), and some also consider themselves "otherkin" if they have spirit guides of a certain species.

The concept of "otherkin" seems to take a lot of influence from neo-paganism and new age teachings, and you don't have to dig very far to find those influences. A common symbol said to represent otherkin is a heptagram, a seven pointed star, which is also known as a fairy star in neo-paganism. (I say "said to", because despite many websites describing this symbol as an otherkin symbol, I only ever saw a handful actually use it.)

The example that's been posted a lot on social media recently is a woman who believes she is a cat. In otherkin terms, "cat" would be her "kintype". The aim of many otherkin is to somehow get closer to their "kintype", to become more like it, or what they believe themselves to be. This ultimately manifests in a variety of ways. One example is phantom limbs. Phantom limbs are experienced by people who have a body part amputated. They feel like the body part is still there. In otherkin terms, phantom limbs are limbs exclusive to one's kintype. A cat may feel a tail; a dragon may feel wings. Many otherkin also meditate in an attempt to get more information about their kintype. An ideal result of meditating would be something like (what one believes to be) memories of a past life as their kintype. Astral projection is also common among otherkin.

Another example of becoming closer to one's kintype is through something called m-shifts. The term is short for "mental shift". The idea is to cause one's brain to revert to a state of mind one's kintype would have. It's normal for otherkin to experience occasional impulses that their kintype would have - the aforementioned woman feels the need to hiss at dogs and dislikes water - but "m-shifts" are like completely flicking a switch, having the full mindset of one's kintype.

And this is where the tone of this post will switch. A lot. If you're otherkin and you're reading this, prepare to read some hard truths.

"M-shifts" are not what they appear to be, and in fact, neither is the entire otherkin belief system. All that I said above is what otherkin believe, sure, but the perspective held in those groups is gravely misguided.

I experienced a few "m-shifts" when I was otherkin. It was not pleasant. I had very minimal control over myself, and it was scary. Even if I managed to put my fear aside for a bit, it still made me feel uneasy. I remember one specific time I was walking outside, and I suddenly my mind started telling me to get on all fours. I was being forced on all fours by my brain. I had to push with all my might to resist this urge. It was terrifying. While I was fighting this urge, a car drove by. I had to fight the urge to go attack the car. This isn't a spiritual experience you want to have. Don't you understand what m-shifts are yet? They're an attack on your spirit. This isn't something you simply trigger. This is how one acts when they're possessed, when they're under attack from demonic forces.

And it's easy to see where demonic forces would have room to enter in when you look more deeply at what otherkin practice. Mediation is not a good way to calm your mind, or cleanse your spirit, or do anything positive. Meditation, contrary to popular opinion, does none of these things. Think about this: you're opening yourself to spiritual experiences and you cannot verify the sources of what you experience. Do you think negative spirits can't influence you? They do. Meditation opens your life to all kinds of demonic influence. This sort of ties into astral projection, which I mentioned above. People practice both of these things in an attempt at finding some kind of spiritual truth which the empirical realm cannot grasp. The problem is, people using astral projection to find truth have no idea what this truth is that they're seeking, and thus can't properly tell truth from lies. Opening yourself like this will not lead to anything good. There are very, very determined evil forces that will take advantage of this. I can still remember many of the things I saw while in meditative states or while attempting to astral project. Most of them were creepy and disturbing. I don't even want to relay what they were. Now, don't be mistaken. I know that not everything you see will be outwardly creepy or disturbing. I'm fully aware that some things you see may appear to be nice. But you must understand that seeming nice does not equate to being nice. This principle applies to strangers on earth; it is not an exception when it comes to spiritual beings you encounter or things you see while meditating or astrally projecting. Also, you will meet backstabbers on earth. You will also meet backstabbing spiritual forces. This is where spirit guides also come in. "Spirit guides" are not what many think they are. These are often real spirits, sure, but they are not benevolent, and they do not want to help you along in life. These spirits take on the appearance of being nice in order to misguide you and lead you astray. They're demonic, even if they don't seem like it. I can't warn you strongly enough about this. I wrote briefly about a spirit guide I used to have. I can't stress it strongly enough. These "spirit guides" seek only to misguide you. They seem friendly, but they are not.

Phantom limbs? Likely a mental construct. Back then, I never experienced phantom limbs until I read about them on otherkin sites. If they are real, they're another symptom of demonic influence in your life. I'm not sure how I never realized it back then... Guys, please just listen to me on this. Do you think it's spiritually "okay" that you experience things like this? That you are experiencing spiritual limbs manifesting into feelings you have? Many also complain they can't control their phantom limbs. Does this sound, in any conceivable way, safe or okay to you? Does this sound like something somebody who is in control and knowledgeable about spirituality would experience, or does it sound like something somebody who is not in control and got in way over their heads with this stuff would experience?

The same exact thing goes for multiple systems. How much can you trust random spiritual beings who live inside of your body with you and influence you? I repeat, does such an experience sound like something which a person in control of their spirituality would experience, or does it sound more like the aftermath of practicing spirituality without having a full understanding of the nitty-gritty of what they were doing? I don't say any of this to mock otherkin - I say this as a warning.

As for reincarnation, this one was very difficult for me. I was convinced of the past lives I had. The feelings, the memories, it all "felt" real to me. These "feelings" are poison. People rely so much on feelings... It's honestly tragic. And even today, I only have two really good reasons to deny reincarnation. One is this one single Bible verse: "Just as man is appointed to die once, and after that to face judgment," This one Bible verse was the wrench in the gears of my beliefs at the time. I struggled with it a long time, but I ultimately chose God's word. I also asked my pastor about reincarnation, and an interesting point was raised: if "past lives" were, which life would we be judged on? (Yes, I attended church back then... Because I was "Christian", right?!) But even more than that was Hebrews 9:27. If you don't believe in Christianity, I admittedly have no further defense against reincarnation. [However] [I] [do] [have] [defenses] [for] [Christianity]. Believe.

As for the idea that one's soul simply "is" that of an animal, all I can add on that is, souls do not work this way. There will always be debate about whether animals have souls. I'm inclined to believe they do, but I'm also inclined to believe we do not have them [edit: I mean we do not have animal souls]. Souls are simply souls. An individual living being. Traits like walking on all fours are not part of a spiritual construct, but rather part of biology. This occurred to me while I was still practicing otherkin stuff, but I tried to deny it.

I'm sure there are aspects of the otherkin belief system I have not mentioned here, but I've covered most of the bases. Surely enough to get the point across. 

I could also point out "species dysphoria". This is a term that refers to a psychological phenomenon rather than a spiritual one. In my experience, they're the same - "otherkin" affects both one's soul and one's brain. Also, there's "therianthropy". "Therians" are basically otherkin. The main difference is therians claim to be real animals, while otherkin claim to be mythological ones. Not all people go by this, but a lot do. It doesn't really matter - I just wanted to point out "therianthropy" here to make sure that all the bases are covered.

Now, just to really make sure the point gets across, I'm going to do something I don't really feel like doing, but it's finally time to. I'm going to talk about my experiences in otherkin.

2006-2007 I started listening to satanic/occult influenced music.

2007 I started exhibiting strange behaviors. I started growling at people who annoyed me and sometimes attempted to scratch them.

2008-2009 I had a random vision of dragons.

2009 These "visions" continued to happen, at random times. I started having random "feelings" of "being something else" on the inside. I eventually decided, somehow, this was a coyote, a type of canine that, as I understand, lives predominantly in the USA. The visions of dragons also made me believe I was a dragon. I found a pentagram on the ground outside. I immediately connected this item to my beliefs at the time. I didn't understand why. It just "felt natural".

Keep in mind while all this was going on, I had no understanding of any of it. It was just happening, and I decided to accept all of it without looking further into it.

2009-2010 I decided to look into these feelings, and eventually found the otherkin community. The visions began not happening as often, but I began attempting to access the place in my visions by myself. I think I succeeded. I decide that I'm a dragon.

2010 I had a very odd experience. It wasn't like the normal visions. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I saw complete blackness. A light started to appear. It went back. It came back, but brighter. I could see a landscape in the middle of it. I was scared of what was going on and forced myself to wake up. Around that time was also when I started speaking this "language" of sorts. The words were inhuman. (Note: I will never share what these words were. I will never speak that language again. I reject it and the lies of all demons.)

2010-2011 I was particularly "close" to the one being in my visions. This was the blue dragon I mentioned above. Here's the link again. This spirit began talking to me outside of the visions. I saw this as a good thing. I started having phantom limbs.

2011-2012 I started meditating and attempting to astral project. The visions before were mostly of landscapes that seemed beautiful. But the landscapes I was seeing at this time were dark and scary. They made me uneasy. This time period was also the only time, I'd say, I ever successfully astrally projected. For those who still think they want to practice this? Let me tell you about my lone experience. I was in an area surrounded by lava. I was talking to someone. I don't know who. Suddenly, a black dragon landed next to us. The person warned me not to listen to what the dragon said, but I didn't listen. The dragon opened its mouth and, without moving its mouth at all, began speaking. I don't remember what it said, and I don't ever want to remember. That was it. I had a ton of weird spiritual experiences around this time. Just as one example, I was walking one day, and my body moved forward, but I felt like I was staying in place. There were others, but that one sticks out. Around that time was when I started having "m-shifts". There was one evening when I was walking along a road outside, and I suddenly began experiencing visions again. These "felt" so real to me, that I became convinced that I had past lives. I had been struggling a lot with different belief systems at the time, but that time period also contained the one and only time in my life that I became a full-on atheist. It didn't last long at all - I was terrified, and turned back to God. This event changed everything, when I chose God over my other beliefs. Things really started changing when I had a "different" sort of vision than the "landscapes" or "dragons" I was seeing before... This was the vision I saw: people were standing on judgment day. But instead of going into Heaven, as I expected, I was sent to the place where most of my previous, occult visions took place. (Note: I don't believe those occult-influenced landscapes actually existed. I know they were the lies of demons.) But despite finding it beautiful, and being reunited with that "spirit guide" I wanted so badly, I felt scared. In the vision, I wanted to leave it. I wanted to go to Heaven. But (in the vision!) God said to me, "Because you chose this world over Me, you will spend eternity there." I felt immediate despair. I wanted out. Thankfully the vision ended. But I knew how to interpret this vision. Unlike other visions where I was confused, I knew exactly what this meant: it wasn't God turning me away. No, not at all. It was actually the opposite. It was God speaking to me in one of the only ways I could understand at the time, through visions. This vision wasn't God turning me away, it was God warning me. It was God telling me that I needed to change my perspective, that my life was not on the right path. I didn't understand the full implications of this at the time, but I did begin trying to put less emphasis on my occult visions at the time. Because I didn't want that to happen in the future; I wanted to go to Heaven. I finally began to realize how much God really meant to me.

2012-2013 I began noticing that bad things happen whenever I speak that aforementioned "language". I try not to speak it anymore. I spent a lot of time during this whole process just walking around, thinking about the world. In my reflections and thoughts, I became more and more convinced of things like monotheism (belief in one God) and certain truths of the Bible, based on firsthand experiences I had. (Certain spiritual things I experienced matched up exactly with how the Bible described things; it's hard to explain.) I began trying to justify my beliefs more with the Bible. However, this was only the beginning, for I still cast a lot of spells and tried to levitate a lot. Nevertheless, overall, I started becoming more and more convinced of various Biblical truths. I wrote a bunch of music throughout this whole ordeal, but I'm pretty sure 2012-2013 was the time I wrote the music/lyrics for my first no-occult-nonsense-included, 100% full-on Christian project, called "Tenebrae". I never recorded or released it, but I did write it. Unfortunately, I also started an occult-influenced project called "Coldrealm". I released five songs on an EP. As I recall, I finished the first three songs in 2012, and did the other two in 2013.

2013 I finish making the Coldrealm EP. Like many songs I wrote back then, some of the music was inspired by prayer to my "spirit guide" instead of God. In late 2013 I entered a relationship with a fellow otherkin whom I had known for a few years. It didn't take long for things to go south; that person clearly didn't care about me as much as I cared about them. This conflict obviously led to being emotionally exhausted. I began praying more around that time. I prayed that God would help my relationship with that person. The relationship ended, and I was confused at first as to why God allowed this to happen. However, it didn't take long to understand why God let it happen this way. If I had stayed with that person, my life would have been awful. That person didn't care about my feelings, and it would have exhausted me to the point of insanity. I was under daily stress from dealing with them. Interestingly, this person was from a specific culture (don't ask). I liked a Christian band that came from a country known for that type of culture. This person had a "spirit guide", and I was actually afraid to listen to that Christian band's one album because I was afraid it would upset the person's "spirit guide". But something interesting also happened while I was in that relationship... One night, I decided to listen to some of the music I listened to in 2010-2011, and I was shocked. The music I listened to back then was so depressing and eerie. I couldn't even bring myself to listen to it. I was astounded how much things had changed by that point. I could no longer listen to music like that. That was also around the time I started rejecting teachings like reincarnation.

2014 I started another Christian project. "Tenebrae" was funeral doom; this one was an unblack project called "Darkness Cleansed". Incidentally, the lyrics to both Tenebrae and Darkness Cleansed are on this blog if you'd like to read them. I have a whole bunch of posts labeled "Lyrics". Most of those, with a few exceptions, are from those two projects. ................................ Anyway, Darkness Cleansed was definitely a step in the right direction, but I still ultimately stopped the project. The music was still too "angry" for me to feel right releasing it. The lyrics, though, were fine, so I posted them on this blog. 2014 was when something happened I can never forget. I was walking somewhere, but a tree had fallen, and had blocked the path I was walking on. The "spirit guide", which I unfortunately still allowed in my life at that time, told me to go a certain way, and there would be another path. I doubted at first, but I took that path, and the spirit was correct. Now, this doesn't mean I encourage listening to these spirits. I've made it clear that I do not endorse it. But I bring this thing up to make another point: this is all real. This was not a product of my imagination; these were all real things I was experiencing. Otherwise, how would I have known about that other pathway? No doubt, the "spirit guide" telling me this was originally meant to make me trust it more, but that's not ultimately what happened. Because in June 2014, I discovered a blog post while doing research. Here is a link to it: [here] This post made me realize the truth of this "spirit guide" I allowed into my life. The next day, while I was going for a walk, and this "spirit guide" would have come with me, I instead told it to leave me. I still believed I was otherkin during that time, but things began to change quickly. More and more, I started to doubt otherkin stuff. I already rejected a lot of it, the more I found it conflicted with the Bible, which was being proven to me more and more every single day, with logic, and direct experience, and more. Finally, the otherkin community went too far for me, and there were "vampires" talking about "drinking blood". I decided to no longer use the term "otherkin" at all, but instead "species dysphoria". And indeed, that's what it became. In August 2014, I sent a prayer to God, that He would help me figure out what to do with the remaining beliefs I held - certain visions I couldn't dispel at the time, certain experiences I had, etc. Now this was interesting, because I forgot I even sent that prayer. However, a few weeks later, I found all my questions were answered (I rejected all of the occult visions and experiences!) and I suddenly remembered that I sent the prayer. Even more proof that these things are real! All of the otherkin stuff was eventually rejected. "Otherkin" became "species dysphoria", and that eventually became nothing at all. I removed the Coldrealm EP from the internet. I also destroyed a bunch of my old CD collection.

So, I hope all this is finally enough to, not only explain what otherkin is, but why you should never practice otherkin stuff, or take on the belief system yourself. Reject it. Take note of the things I mentioned above. Become aware of them, not in order that you can practice them, but rather, so that you will know them when you see them, and have the knowledge to reject these practices, and not mistakenly allow them into your life.

In closing, here are some Bible verses and some webpages I found to be helpful. Some were mentioned above, but I'm still going to mention them again here. When I was otherkin, I sought truth. I would have loved if somebody has just said it to me. So I'll say it to you now: 

Hebrews 9:27
And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment,

Deuteronomy 12:30
and after they have been destroyed before you, be careful not to be ensnared by inquiring about their gods, saying, "How do these nations serve their gods? We will do the same."

Deuteronomy 18:10-11
There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. 

John 15:18-19
If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.

Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Revelation 16:15
Behold, I am coming like a thief. Blessed is the one who stays awake and keeps his clothes, so that he will not walk about naked and men will not see his shame.

Revelation 20:10
And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. 

Revelation 21:8
But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death." 

Revelation 21:23, and 25
23 And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the Lamb. 25 In the daytime (for there will be no night there) its gates will never be closed;

Revelation 22:5
And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever. 

Revelation 22:18-19
I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues which are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book.

Revelation 22:20
He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming quickly." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus. 

(Edit August 2016, here's another verse)
Deuteronomy 4:19
And beware not to lift up your eyes to heaven and see the sun and the moon and the stars, all the host of heaven, and be drawn away and worship them and serve them, those which the LORD your God has allotted to all the peoples under the whole heaven. 

[A post from a blog called "A Walk Through the Kingdom" that helped me understand spirits more]

[Here] [are] two pages giving an accurate perspective on "psychic abilities", which may be relevant to some otherkin

And overall, I would please encourage you to read past posts on this blog. No matter if you're otherkin, or just looking for information on Christianity in general, I personally think this blog would be great for anyone in darkness. I know where you've been, and I now allow God to guide me accordingly. PLEASE READ THE HIGHLIGHTED TEXT ABOVE. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE TRUTH OF IT. PLEASE PRAY TO GOD. ACCEPT THE FREE GIFT OF GRACE IN JESUS. LEARN THE TRUTH I ONCE TRIED TO FIGHT. I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS IF THERE WEREN'T SOMETHING GENUINELY WONDERFUL IN GOD'S GRACE. PLEASE CONSIDER THESE WORDS. 

May God bless you, and guide you, according to His perfect will! In Jesus' name. Amen.