Thursday, January 29, 2015

Why Evil Disproves Atheism

I didn't write this, but it's absolutely worth a read.

I don't agree with his plugging his book and not sharing the rest of his defense publicly (thus reaching more people), but what's here is definitely worth your attention.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

REVIEW: Enitor - Morgue

Another review I wrote for Metal Archives. Enitor is/was a Christian black metal band that released an EP called "Morgue" in 2003. Note that while I do compare this band to Catholic Soldier, I don't entirely support the Catholic church, but I do like Catholic Soldier's music.

You can almost feel the fury the band members must have been feeling while recording this. You want to be hedonistic and not seek something higher? You want to hate your neighbor instead of loving them? Enitor have something to say about that.

It's black metal that has a lot of nods to thrash metal, but not really enough to warrant that genre tag. The guitars are generally par-for-the-course thin and buzzing, but get pretty thick and fuming at a couple points. Drumming is surprisingly complex for a raw black metal demo. Don't expect constant blasts, but expect some very prominent drumming. Bass is actually quite audible at points despite the loud, fuzzy production. The vocals are atypically high-pitched, and seem a little out of place in the music at first, but it's not that big of a deal. You get used to them, which is good, I say, because then you can really hear how passionate they are.

You have to appreciate how passionate everything here is. This is up there with the most brutal of unblack bands. The first two tracks, Acquisition of the Grave and The Deistic View, give a good idea of what's going on - loud, fuzzy, pounding, thrash-influenced rage with Luisa screeching over the top. It's not the fastest or most brutal music ever written, but is still pretty rough on the ears (in a good way) compared to what you'd expect from any other random demo, and is still filled with distaste for our illogical, heretical world.

Darkened Skies My Embittered Heart is worth noting separately. It follows the same ideas established by the first two tracks, and everything seems normal at first, but it ends with the music unexpectedly cutting out, and the vocalist yelling out a frightening screech of "FOREVER!... FOREVER!... Forever..." I have no idea what this song is about, but something must have been bothering these people. Wow. I... I hope it wasn't anything too serious.

Overall, the production values tend to vary a little bit from song to song, which is odd, but oh well. The demo's fuzzy and raw throughout, regardless, but barely clear enough that you can hear each instrument and enjoy what's going on. The whole thing is way more brutal and powerful than I was expecting from some old, forgotten demo. In a secular equivalent of this, you may expect feelings of darkness or misanthropy to accompany the emotions here - Entior pass on that nonsense, and just fill the hole with even more raw anger. Listening to this was a little overwhelming, so while I won't be listening to this constantly, I will definitely be listening to it again. For fans of Emperador, Beeroth, Armageddon Holocaust, Verdelger, Primitive Church, and Catholic Soldier.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

God's Goodness (For Any of You Who Still Follow Occultism)

Today I was going through files on my computer. I don't clean out nearly as often as I should, so I ended up deleting 3.20 GB after going through only a small percentage of folders.

In going through those files, I found a bunch of files from 2007 until maybe 2013. Those were the worst years of my past. Those years, as I admittedly mention quite often, weren't very good, full of occult-influenced black metal, occult-influenced emotions, and occult-influenced beliefs, despite my almost constant faith in the existence of God and Jesus. It's astounding how differently I perceive things now. Let me elaborate a bit. Even back then, I loved art. I often tried, albeit poorly, to recreate a lot of the esoteric visions I would receive, and would make artwork based on them. Additionally, I had a tendency to save images I found online that resembled the kinds of things that I would see. (Examples might be... certain kinds of space images, certain types of nature photography, abstract "spiritual"/"New Age" images, etc.)

Like how an island feels "warm" and "tropical" or a warm bath may feel "clean" and "refreshing", occultism carries feelings I've seen described as sticky, gross, or greasy, and I would agree with that. Even when I was living in it, I consciously picked up on those feelings in my life. But now, if I could feel it, why didn't I leave it?

It's because I had mistakenly come to perceive the feelings generated by those practices and beliefs, as feelings objective to life itself. Simply, I thought life itself was as bad as occultism made it feel. Emotions of hopelessness, animal-like anger towards others, and searching for something I couldn't find were frequent.

"i once had a light to follow
but it's long since dimmed and died
now i'm trapped in my own seclusion
too negative, dark and benumbed to cry
all i feel is depression
tortured sadness, gloom and woe
i long to scream but life prevents me
trapped in nothing with nowhere to go"

Even after the life-changing prayer I sent in (I think) 2009, I had come to think that people who weren't as miserable as me were simply blind to reality. I confused the emotions that encompassed my own emptiness as something that tainted the real world, the fabric of reality itself. It never occurred to me once that I could be causing my own problem. I never thought that a switch in focus could be what I needed. I continued seeking the things that appealed to me in my esoteric visions and were further perpetuated by the "spirit guides", which I thought could have been nothing other than benevolent beings sent from God Himself.

"i need my guide but he feels
so long gone and far away
doesn't need a worthless lost
cause like me, but i need him today
but i've fallen and i lost my way
far from hope and far from home
i'm begging you to come find me
i can't go on anymore alone, so

i ask where are you now?
i'm lost, broken, and alone
i need your guidance now
to show me the way back home"

God moved me on a path in life where I found progressively more experimental music, which I loved more and more, and the bands I found were progressively farther away from that negativity. The music was, I suppose, too strange and abstract for evil. At the same time, I started finding more Christian black metal bands, who obviously weren't occult-influenced. At the same time still, I began finding more music outside the realm of metal from the beginning, so my tastes were overall broadening all around. A point I've made in a place or two before, is, the influence of occultism becomes more obvious the less you're around it. It works like fog, it prevents your vision from seeing clearly, and when it blows away, you'd be surprised at all that is actually around you... I became more aware of how much I needed God, and how much I didn't need the things in my visions.

"i need my footing, i need a path
i need the light only you have
i tire of the sorrow, i tire of the pain
i tire of the regret that's driving me insane
sick of being lonely, sick of the numbing black
sick of all this darkness, i just want my hope back
i want to follow you again, lead me to my home
i want to stand up high again, but i can't stand alone, so

i ask where are you now?
i'm lost, broken, and alone
i need your guidance now
to show me the way back home!"

It was hard to let go of a few things, because my heart was still set on them, rather than on the basic truths of God. This manifests in many ways to many people, but the same idea is there. For me, I would nitpick the Bible in an attempt at justifying my views on certain things. For example, I might say, "Well, sure this verse says that we only have one life, but that's only one verse! And it could be interpreted in this way because it never specifically says we're not reincarnated, or..." Another one I liked to use a lot back in the day was the idea that the things I did (which were basically spells and occult-influenced "psychic" abilities) might have been powers bestowed by God Himself. This led me to a point where I had to make some choices. For one thing, I found a certain webpage that caused me to question a bunch of things. If that weren't enough, the Bible, as it were, stated increasingly clearly that these were not God-given abilities, and the verse about having one life became increasingly hard to ignore. God had led me this far on my path in life, and it was so much better than the evil I had left behind in pleading to Him, so I decided to trust Him one more time. It wasn't always easy to come to certain conclusions.

The primordial darkness, and in my soul I feel
The weight of melancholy, I find it alone, I fight it alone
The black void inside me will only grow here in
The decrepit sadness, I find it alone, I fight it alone
I stretch out my arms high, and pray for a sign
In this gloomy shadow, I find it alone, I fight it alone

The black darkened river my soul drudges through
The whole world it consumes, I find it alone, I fight it alone
Far off in the cosmos lies all my tranquil dreams
Oh God, end the sadness, I find it alone, I fight it alone

God continued to shape me, and I continued to allow Him. The cloud has since left me. All of the confusion that surrounds those lost in esotericism and occultism is finally, as of middle-late 2014, falling away. I can look at things differently now, and I can finally, truly smile again. I can see the light in the world, and not just the darkness. In looking at the files on my computer from the past days, the emotions from the past came back to mind. Just looking at them was enough to fill me with despair; if God weren't watching the whole time, I would never have made it through so many years of living in it, surrounded by it. God's forgiveness, as I realized upon beginning to write this post, is a lot like the process of deleting those files from my computer, the process which inspired this post in the first place. I deleted files that were on my computer as a result of occult beliefs and practices that were harming me. Now, the files are no longer there - the occult influence they had is gone now. I can no longer see them, and be reminded of them. My computer has been cleaned of things that made it worse. In effect, God has done the same thing for me. He removed the occultism from my life, and through the forgiveness promised through Jesus Christ, God has blotted out all of the wrong I'd done in those days. I've heard that deleted files still sit on your computer (and phone, etc) somewhere, but are basically impossible to access. Likewise, until the end of the world actually comes, traces of those days will still linger in this world - posts I wrote (and extensively later tried to correct in some way), the memories that linger, what have you - but they're well-hidden by now, and are long, long past from my life.

This is God's goodness! It's so easy to start anew and be forgiven for your wrongdoings! All it took was a change of focus in my life! While the process itself wasn't particularly "easy" on my end, it was much, much easier than continuing to stay away from the path He wanted for me! And once you learn to trust Him, it becomes even easier! Forgiveness is so simple!

If you want to leave behind your past and turn to God, He is absolutely willing to hear you! He will protect you, and guide you! By the way, I've heard fear expressed that evil forces will hurt/kill you if you become Christian. The devil will not be able to hurt you. God will protect you. There is a world out there beyond the spiritual prison you're in. It's full of pain, but it's also more full of joy than you can imagine. God is always listening if you choose to ask.

May He bless you all according to His perfect will. In Jesus' name. Amen. 

The lyrics in italics in this post are from a song I wrote in 2008-2009, and never intend to use for anything, other than to make a point here, and are (c) Nocturnal Iridescence, 2014. All rights reserved.

Friday, January 16, 2015


Something that bothers me a lot is when I don't "sound" as some seem to think Christians should, because of my tone. In fact, I've been mistaken for an atheist. Let me explain.

Society, as it stands, has often come to associate Christians with an air of fantasy, dreaminess, blind adherence, and a willingness to throw logic out the window. As Christians here will know, that is completely untrue. Some may believe for those reasons, but the vast majority of us, of course, don't, and any joy we feel is completely warranted - we will be in Heaven for eternity.

However, a lot of unbelievers don't know this. Many of them still see us as mindless daydreamers whom any human hand can lead astray. So with my cold sense of logic and complete dedication to truth, I feel as if I'm coming across badly.

See, people today are obsessed with "truth", but don't understand what that truth is. Groups everywhere are claiming they've discovered some hidden truths regarding either science or spirituality, but then people forget how simple the truth really is. It's Jesus. People spend so much time searching, I like to say, that they forget to find. What I mean by that is, people spend so much time searching for these hidden truths, they forget to actually acknowledge the truth when it's placed somewhere. Of course I understand that the fact that Christianity is written in a book doesn't inherently validate it, just like the fact that these "hidden truths" come from lesser-known sources doesn't inherently invalidate them. No, what invalidates false teachings is the simple fact that they are wrong. They don't line up with true logic and reasoning like the teachings of Christianity do.

Another reason is when I deny certain spiritual phenomena that the Bible condemns. Mediums are one example. It's occasionally assumed that a Christian should embrace them because they talk about "spirituality" and mention Heaven sometimes. The Bible actually forbids their activities despite their mentioning of Heaven, because they are not communicating with the dead (which is also forbidden!), they are communicating with familiar spirits - demons. It's occultism. I'd dealt with similar spirits before in the past, and have warned against it multiple times here. Just because a topic is spiritual in nature, and just because an idea is spread through imagery that looks "Christian" somehow, doesn't mean that it is truly good in God's eyes, and people should be careful to discern whether it is or not. The best option is to read the Bible, which explains what God wants from us. The second thing you should do (while doing the first one) is praying. Don't pray to idols, either. Pray to God directly. He wants a relationship with you, and praying is a great step toward that.

Through it, the truth will be revealed. Some may speak about it in a more wondrous tone than I do (which is fine, by the way, and encouraged by the Bible), but their disposition obviously doesn't negate the inherent truth of their beliefs. God is real, and God is good.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

What Else Must We Do?

How precisely should I go about proving the existence of God? That's not to say that I haven't a good fifty times over already (also in other ways not yet discussed on this blog), but the reactions to cold evidence that people seem to have certainly don't suggest it.

I'm a very logical person, almost flatly so, and look at things from the most objective, logical viewpoint possible. I have spent the past 7 years of my life learning about life from this point of view. This is something that secularists seem to crave, the appearance that that whole crowd puts on suggesting the utmost sophistication and reasoning, like a whole higher class of people. The good majority seem to adore science, a belief that's constantly changing and adapting to new truths, something on which they pride themselves. Following where this is going, one should reasonably assume that evidence in favor of Christianity should lead these open-minded gentlefolk to quickly abandon old thoughts of secularism and consider Christianity, even accept it in the face of things such as historical documents and basic common sense. Yet that doesn't seem to quite work.

But I thought these people had no "faith", that they simply adhered to facts. Why is it, then, that facts and basic logical conclusions would be rejected? That's something they claim I do. What's worse is that in the face of seemingly logical discussion, they will turn around and do the very things they claim Christians do; pulling Bible quotes out of context, turning to ad-hominem and avoiding the facts; simply putting their fingers in their ears and pretending not to acknowledge what is being said; etc. Funny, I don't do that, but every person I debate / debates me does.

It's becoming increasingly clear to me that this is going to be the case every time; that these secularists have no interest in actual logic or learning, that they would rather stick with their blind faith in science and self-righteousness than face facts. It's evident in the nature of every one of these debates that the target here isn't reasonable discussion in their minds, but simply raising themselves up. Just recently, all I did was write one declarative sentence to somebody about religion and without so much as even asking for clarification of what I'd said, the person just called me an idiot. One (not angry) response to their message, and the swearing and unwarranted name-calling began.

So, people don't want reasoned discussion.

Then what exactly do they want?

I bother with this, all of this, this blog, spreading the word of Jesus Christ, debating people, opposing evil forces so vocally, reflecting on our world, discovering the nitty-gritty of truths that I already understood, talking to people online about these subjects when I'm already rather introverted and don't always really enjoy talking to people that much, for precisely two reasons: 1) so that God may be glorified in their worship, and 2) so that they, the people who doubt, may come to truth and know the love and goodness that God has to offer for those who call on Him and His Son, and that these people may be saved and live in eternal peace. I do this for those very purposes, and is why I'm so adamant about it. Hell is real, and I am willing to do so many things to keep people out of it. The problem is, I'm not sure what these unbelievers, who are supposedly open to new ideas, actually want.

In at least most cases:
- logic and reasoning don't work.
- historical documents don't work.
- using science doesn't work. 
- Biblical quotes don't work.
- street preaching doesn't work. (I've never done this and a couple others here personally, but you know.)
- being gentle doesn't work.
- being "part of the crowd" doesn't work.
- humanitarian activity and donating doesn't work. (not that most people really do these to evangelize... but the point still stands.)
- fire and brimstone preaching doesn't work.
- a worldwide network of churches doesn't work.
- inviting people to those churches doesn't work.
- making music that they like (rap/metal/noise/etc) doesn't work.
- door-to-door preaching doesn't work.
- movies about Christianity don't work. 

Even the (heretical!) movements which compromise the actual word of God for the specific purpose of making Christianity look nice to unbelievers don't get a passing glance. (Not that they should, don't get me wrong, they are equally misguided, but the situation proves my point further.)

I mean, sure, these have worked for a few people, but the majority continue to reject them. So if none of the above things will convince anyone, what exactly will?

Every conceivable way of showing you these truths that we have come to understand are met with harsh criticism or indifference.

Don't hesitate at all to tell me, what precisely is it going to take? We don't need God to come show Himself to you or something, because some of us have already proven to you, time and time again, that the truth of God is evident without actually seeing Him.

If you won't take that, then what will you take? I want to keep you out of Hell. We all want to keep you out of Hell. (Except those movements that compromise the Word; they just want a buck!) So what do you want us to do? What more truth do you need? How else can one even prove these points? We shouldn't have to do all of these things to get these simple, logical, reasonable, rational, factual points across in the first place, especially for a world that claims it loves logical thought so much. But if we do, then don't hesitate to tell me, for the sake of my peace of mind, for the sake of God's happiness (He does not take pleasure in condemning people!), and even for the sake of your own soul/life, what else must we do?